Friday, October 3, 2014

The Gift of Friendship

God never loved me in so sweet a way before.
'Tis he alone who can such blessings send.
And when His love would new expressions find,
He brought thee to me and He said—"Behold a friend."

Friendship is a wonderful thing, isn't it?  The more I go about life, the more I realize just what a difference it can make to have good friends to see you through each different phase.

I haven't actually come here to ramble about friendship itself though-- my intention is to ramble about one particular friendship.  Which I know, I've talked about before... I have a special place in my heart for each of my friends, but one has a profound connection to blogging that makes it more natural to ramble here.

“There is one friend in the life of each of us who seems not a separate person, however dear and beloved, but an expansion, an interpretation, of one’s self, the very meaning of one’s soul.” 
–Edith Wharton

And it has to do with the date, too. Today, as you may have observed by glancing at your calendar or cell phone or something, is October 3rd.  It was three years ago on this very day that my best friend entered my life.  Of course, she wasn't my best friend yet, and I could have absolutely no idea that what would follow would be a friendship to compete with and finally exceed that of Anne and Diana, which I'd always looked up to with admiration as an improbability at best, if not impossible.  I may have imagined a friendship I could compare with them and other fictional friends in books and movies-- but I never, ever imagined I'd have one that I'd look at and feel that the superiority was completely obvious.

But don't worry, we still compare ourselves to them. ;)

I know, I know, you've heard it before.  I've rambled on and on about how wonderful Amy is and how much her friendship means to me.  So before we proceed, two things.  1) You don't have to read this.  If it's too much sap for you, I won't be offended if you toddle off to do something else.  2) It HAS been a while since I've written a good, sappy post on this subject.  In fact, I didn't even do one on our last visit.  I don't think that was even mentioned on my blog, actually, due to our lovely April 1st idea, haha.  (See here and here.) So anyways-- a new one is due. ;)

So, as I said, it's been three whole, entire years.  I distinctly remember the afternoon it happened, too; sitting in the dining room on our laptop, and seeing that I had a new follower (my 40th, in point of fact), and also a blog comment from the new follower.  I clicked on her blog and found out it had only just been made and was immensely pleased by the blog, her profile, her music playlist, her first post, that I declared in my comment that she looked like a girl after my own heart.

I didn't have the smallest idea just how true that was going to be.

But as time went on, I became increasingly excited.  Our thoughts and tastes aligned in so many areas, it was almost crazy and unbelievable.  I felt this profound connection with her, like I'd just found a part of myself that I never knew was missing, and it felt like in our hearts, we already knew each other.

 Under the pretense of some blogging project we started emailing in November, then in December we were emailing steadily (as I tried to make myself start thinking of her as "Amy" instead of "Miss Dashwood") and it has never stopped since then.  By February, we'd get worried if we didn't hear from each other every day without a known reason.  By mid-March, we decided that, despite the fact that our communication only spanned about four/five-ish months, we were best friends.  This wasn't anything we tried to explain to anybody else, because we knew they couldn't understand.  We both understood, though... and that's what mattered.

Even though all along I had a feeling that ours would be a lasting friendship and not one that would reach a high point and then fade, as I have seen happen, I told myself I couldn't count on it because that would be a bit irrational.

Any doubts, however disagreeable I found them, did prove to be unfounded.  Our friendship has not faded in the least, nor become less exciting, because there's always some new thing to attain.  That's one thing I truly doubted.  I feared we would hit a point where we just wouldn't find each other and our friendship as thrilling anymore.

Certainly, we're more accustomed to it now.  However, that doesn't mean that when we have the same ideas and say the same things we don't get excited and giggle and feel happy inside.  Just because we've talked about the special bond we have so much doesn't mean there's no more to be said on the subject-- and besides, neither of us mind rehashing things.  If something's worth saying once, it's worth saying twice.  Or thrice.  Or more. :P  And there's always, always something new to look forward to.

And October 3rd, more recently dubbed "Tween Day," is something we look forward to every year.  (Note: we call each other Tween, not because we consider ourselves to be juvenile, but because it was a nickname two best friends in a book we like called each other, before the modern use of "tween" was invented. Haha.)  Because it gives us the opportunity to do be as cheesy and sentimental and reminiscing as we like.

I have to say, during this third year, I think we've cracked into a level that we hadn't attained before.  But part of that is because a lot of... stuff has happened, between now and this time last year.  This includes a few, ehm, rocky areas.  Which cut rather deeper than anything had so far.

But you know what?  We always pull through terrifically.  There are points where we just needed to have a good Explaining Session about how exactly we were feeling on a bunch of matters, get everything out in the open, piece it back together, and begin afresh.

Why am I saying this?  Well, because I don't want to brag about our friendship as if it's all happy sunshine and flowers, as if we each are a model of perfection in every way.  Since we aren't, things inevitably happen.

It's just that that doesn't make me value our friendship any less.  Possibly more, because you don't always know how strong something is unless it's tested.  (I will say though that we've never had anything that could be called a classic "fight". Heehee.)  And acing a test feels good.

And I now know that we really are better off for those things happening. We're wiser, for one thing, and are figuring out how to handle different things.  Also, it has added to our understanding of each other-- when two people are a lot alike, you see, it takes effort to deal with the areas in which they aren't alike; how these things should be treated and how to empathize without feeling the same-- and I honestly believe we're all the closer for it.

But I'm standing (er, sitting) here today and marveling at that.  It's a mystery to me how my dear Twinnie could see me in my worst moods and at my most obnoxious moments,  find out how terribly oversensitive I can be far too often, and how much maintenance I seem to require, yet she likes me as much as ever and here we still are, no worse for the wear.

Um what.


This last year has also been comprised of way more happy and special moments, of course. Duh. :D

.I really don't know what I'd do without my Mousie.  The last few years have brought about so many changes and Life Things happening that I cannot imagine going through without Amy to stay by my side and offer virtual hugs and encouragement.  There's nothing like being able to tell somebody all about your problem (or triumph!) and know that they actually care.  And that they'll understand.

Now that I've talked about all the things that I'm grateful for, do I have a right to complain a little? I hope so, because it's comin'.


Seriously, what is UP with the ginormous size of the United States?  We don't need all this space.  Can it shrink? :P

Because being together in real life really is all it's hyped up to be.  Doing special things together, doing everyday and otherwise-boring things together... everything is fun in its way.  I'm more myself when I'm with her, somehow.  And there's so much going on in each other's lives that it would be nice to share and not just hear about.  And today-- it would be awfully nice to be together.

But I'm glad that we're so good at long-distance communication, anyways.  (Well, we have to be.  Otherwise we wouldn't be where we are today.)  I think it's actually a great foundation for a friendship-- I think people can get to know each other on a much deeper level, more quickly, than if they meet in person.

“There is a magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.” 
–Diana Cortes

So now I'm back to what I'm grateful for, haha.  (But trust me, we bemoan the distance and how it forces us to have visits sparingly often enough between ourselves. Ha.)  So here I shall end this post as y'all are probably either yawning or feeling cheesy-ed out.

P.S. In a way, we owe our friendship to Jane Austen-- and that's a very lovely thing. :)


Naomi Bennet said...

Melody, this post was beautiful.

I myself met my best friend through the blogging world - actually, we've been best friends for half-a-year now. I know, right, not as long as you. All that you said about you and Amy reminded me so much of Emma and I... it's so true.

Friendship is a beautiful, beautiful thing! Just... so amazing. Best friends, especially!

Emma and I live in different CONTINENTS. Can you imagine that, Melody? Ah well, just as you said, at least we're good at communicating. :-)

Anyway, what I mean to say is this: This post made me all sort of happy-sad, because I could relate to so much of it. I just. I think so many of the same things... I just don't know what else to say.

~ Naomi

Oh, and my dear Emma and I also compare ourselves to Anne and Diana. :-)

But then, don't all bosom friends?

I say three cheers for best-friends-who-met-through-the-blogging-world!
Heehee :-)

Miss Dashwood said...

This was swellissimus, dearling. Wonderfulissimusly swellissimus. I got a little misted up reading it, not gonna lie.

We're the bestest but you're the most bestest. :D

(Apologies for the apparent bad spelling and the slogginess going on in this comment, all you people who are reading it.)

Miss Brandon said...

*Sniffles* Ok I teared up.. thanks Melody.. :D I also have a dear friend that I made through blogging also. This post was lovely sentimental and sweet! Just made my day actually!
My turn for a slight complain
Why is Australian soo far away?!?!?!!?
Evie out
*sips tea*

Beth said...

Amazing :)

Would you rather hear the story...

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