'Twould seem this blog has been hacked...

WHAT'S THIS? HAS MY BLOG BEEN *HACKED*???????

Melody is the best friend in all the world.  She is also the most trusting, loyal and unsuspecting person in the world as well.  Do you know why this is?  Well, it's because when she's not home and needs to check her email and can't access the internet, she calls her best friend on the phone and gives said best friend her email password, and directs said best friend to peruse her inbox and give her the information she requires.  And then?  And then... she doesn't change her email password.  Even after weeks and weeks. 

Some would call this "not bothering."  I would call this "an incredible display of trust in a person who obviously does not deserve it."

Because if you haven't figured it out already, this is Amy, and I am hacking Melody's blog.  She's at church right now, so I'm taking this opportunity to write a long and rambling post.  Which she may take down later at her leisure if she so desireth, but I think you guys will enjoy reading it, so I hope she leaves it up.  (Please comment and back me up here.)



I thought long and hard (read: for like five whole minutes) about what to write in my hack post, and finally hit upon the brilliant plan of a Birthday Extravaganza.  You see, Melody's birthday is in the Autumn, but since she does not care to divulge the exact date to the Internet at Large, I have always respected that wish and refrained from posting a great big hullabaloo on the actual day.  (Rest assured that I always do deliver a hullabaloo of some sort... just not on a public blog.)  But I know she does not object to the world knowing that her birthday is in the Season of Fall, so I'm going to anticipate the event (it's not fall YET, after all... more's the pity...) and write her an EARLY birthday post. Extending the festivities, as my aunt always likes to say, although she tends to say it in birthday cards that arrive in a belated fashion.

Anyways.  Let us proceed.

It is a long-standing joke between Melody and myself that 18 is my favorite number-- for what reason, I really do not know.  I tend to use 18 or variants thereof as my go-to number when I am making up statistics or exaggerating or using a random number for any purpose, and it just sort of became a Thing with us.  So, in celebration of Melody's [number censored] birthday, I shall present you with 18 fun facts about her, and why she is, in short, The Best. (She's not turning 18, by the way. No happy coincidence here.)

These will be rather random.

1. She has the most hilariously expressive face I have ever seen on a human being.  The tragedy of it all is that she prefers to keep her face off the internets.  Which is reasonable of her. But it means that I cannot share a picture right now of her Grumpy Cat impression, and believe me, folks, you are missing out on a lot.

2.  She can play the piano and the fiddle-- and might I mention that she didn't actually know she could STILL play the fiddle until about three months ago, because she hadn't picked it up in, like, years.  (I say "like" because I don't remember exactly how many years it was.  But it was way before I knew her.)  Anyways.  She can play both.  Even after years without practice.  She is talented.

3. She has a disapproving and majestic cat whose name is Marshmellow and he is a dear old duck even though he would like you to believe he is a dignified old thing.  Sometimes we use him as a photo prop.  He enjoys this more than he would care to let on.

4.  Her favorite Jane Austen film adaptation is Pride and Prejudice (1995), closely followed (and sometimes tied with) Emma (2009).  I know none of you knew this fact before now, so please take a moment to recover from falling off your chairs in shock.

5. She is an introvert and invented the highly useful word "introlocked"-- meaning "lacking the social stamina to hold a conversation with anyone but one's nearest and dearest, being desirous of going home and feeling unable to sustain a polite demeanor in company; shutting down; wanting tea and a nap."  (I made up the dictionary-sounding definition though.)

6. She is something of a fangirl where the web series In Earnest is concerned.  *cough* Algy *cough*

7. She works in a LIBRARY. Among all those BOOKS.

8. She's a really good singer. She will probably tell you she is not. But she is.  She's working on becoming a high soprano, and she sings all sorts of lovely songs quite nicely, and sings Hopelessly Devoted to You from Grease quite hilariously.  And super-dramatically.  Maybe if I coax her hard enough she'll record it and put it on here.... :D

9.  She is one of the most persuasive people I know and is very very good at making a convincing argument. She is, generally speaking, always right.  To my chagrin, some of the time. :P

10.  She's really good at doing weird voices.  Like, exceptionally good. She should voice cartoon characters, I think.

11.  She is a wondrously expert hairdresser.  

12. Her sense of humor is unparalleled (although maybe I think so because it matches my own so well...) and she comes up with hilarious photo captions like this one.  (She took the picture, too.  When we went to the National Zoo together one time.)

13.  She can set up a tent quickly and efficiently, and that really is a skill worth having, much as you may scoff at it.  It makes camping trips so much less stressful than they might otherwise be.  

14.  She has an amazing memory for small details and this pleases my sentimental self immensely. :D (She also understands the importance of sentiment and being nostalgic about things and all that jazz.)

15.  Once upon a time she declared to me that she did not think much of musical theatre, apart from Sound of Music perhaps, and thought it all too much singing and dancing for her taste.  Then I made her watch My Fair Lady. And then I made her watch Phantom of the Opera (the good version).  And it pretty much all went downhill from there.  Or uphill, depending on how you look at it.  We saw Newsies and The Music Man during our last visit.  ;) 

("MAMA! If you think I'd allow a common masher-- now, really Mama, I have my standards where men are concerned, and I have no intention..."

"I know all about your standards and if you don't mind my sayin' so there's not a man alive who can hope to measure up to that blend'a Paul Bunyan, St. Pat and Noah Webster you've concocted for yourself out of your Irish imagination, your Iowa stubbornness and your library fulla books!")

16. For years she was pretty adamantly against texting (not as much as I was though) and then we both got cell phones and... um... ahem.

*cough cough cough*

17.  However, though her opinions on texting and musicals may have changed, one of the (many) things I admire about Melody is that she stands firm in her beliefs when they are truly important ones. There are few people I know who have her strength of character and determination to do what is right regardless of what other people think.  

(Okay, I am about three inches taller than Melody.  Give or take a smidgen.  Depends on who's measuring.
So it's not like she's really really tiny... and she'll probably be just a tad annoyed that I've referred to her as little here...
but seriously this quote is so her. :D)

18.  In that same vein, Melody really is one of the strongest people I know.  Not just physically (although her small physique may lead you to believe otherwise, she really is unnervingly strong and I can't beat her at arm wrestling WHICH IS SAYING A LOT) but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I've seen her go through some incredibly tough times in the almost-four years I've known her, and I've been amazed and awed over and over by how resilient and unbreakable she is.  As I said before, there are few people who have that kind of grit and determination and just plain gumption.  Aunt Jamesina in Anne of the Island says that gumption is indefinable-- anyone who has gumption knows what it is, and anyone who doesn't will never have it.  But I think perhaps you can know what it is when you see someone who exemplifies it so well.  Melody has it, and I can see it, and I know what it is.  (One would assume she does too. :P)  

Anyways... I think I have come to the end.  Done being sloggy now. :D

Well... not just yet.  Because your birthday still hasn't technically happened.
So please stay away from bears, Favorite and Best.

The End.

Love,
The Hacker
(Amy. Duh.)